Death, Taxes, and Fantasy!

“There are only two certainties in life – death and taxes” 

Benjamin Franklin.

Franklin was certainly on to something with those famous 10 words, and I am quite certain there are none as of to date who have been able to prove him wrong. If he were alive today, I would like to see if he would consider adding a number 3 to his list (…and I would ask for an autograph). The number three that I believe is missing from Franklins’ life certainties is–fantasy. Death, taxes, and fantasy. Three life certainties for sure! Before you get all confused with this proposal, let me just say, read on.

H. Wallace Goddard discusses a theory he calls the Mental Inversion in his book – Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage.  He says,  “Psychologists tell us that we are all naive realists, which causes all of us to acknowledge that we all have limited facts and active biases. No human sees clearly. (But I do.)” He goes on, “The natural mind is an enemy to truth. Each one of us sees our own versions of “truth” and imagines that no one in the world sees truth as clearly as we do. This way of thinking is a pernicious enemy.” Another favorite author of mine describes this phenomenon in a unique but powerful way.

 “ “Making assumptions and then taking them personally is the beginning of hell in this world.”  Almost all of our conflicts are based on this, and it’s easy to understand why. Assumptions are nothing more than lies that we are telling ourselves. This creates a big drama for nothing, because we don’t really know if something is true or not. Making assumptions is just looking for drama when there’s no drama happening. And if drama is happening in someone else’s story, so what? It’s not your story; it’s someone else’s story.” ― Miguel Ruiz, The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery

Brilliant! This is a fantastic book, and I recommend it to anyone wanting to understand this principle more clearly. Basically, if you are human, and you have human experiences, then you are living in a fantasy of sorts. Your own fantasy to be more direct. Not even this life is a reality if we really hone in on this inversion. If what we understand to be true about God, heaven and our real identity, then this whole physical world is just a trial of something that is so much more. But, staying on a more surface level, the fantasy I want to talk about is the one that is intertwined in our daily relationships. Marriage to be specific.

I cannot begin to tell you how many arguments I have been in with my spouse where both of us are arguing over what really happened. My “reality” vs his “reality.” NOBODY WINS! The truth of it all is we are both wrong. We will waist priceless “mortality” arguing fantasy. How comical this must be to those not living mortality, but watching us attempt to get it right (God). How uncomfortable we make life by believing and becoming entwined in our own fantasy of what is not real.

So, for those of us trying to avoid the “big drama for nothing” scenario as mentioned by Miguel Ruiz, then may I suggest that the three certainties of life are actually death, taxes, and fantasy.  May we own this reality of fantasy, stop trying to push our “truth,” put aside enough pride to stop arguing, and have fun LIVING! 

Live not only our own fantasy but the fantasy of everyone

else we mingle with! How fun can that be!