Can You SMELL That?

Can you SMELL that?

If there is one thing I have learned from reading Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, it would be that I should have read his book 25 years ago! In fact, why is it not mandatory reading before marriage? There should be a law. If anything, my first 25 years of “wedded bliss” could have been sheer ecstasy. But now, we will never know.

Don’t get me wrong. I have a working marriage, and a hard-working husband, and not so hard-working children, and a working family, and a sometimes working home…etc. It is all working. But at what level? I thought it was a notably above average, but definitely not approaching bliss. We have our struggles. Some years are better than others, and we were always “sticking it out”, “working through” the harder times. You know, “making it work.” Now, after exploring the prized information contained in this rather thin book, I am finding a whole new world. And some of it STINKS.

            Interestingly enough, I like the stinky smell. It lets me know that something is off track and we, my spouse and I, can quickly and effectively get that crap outta here. In the past, we were most likely lingering in the stink until it festered and caused tremendous problems in our relationship.

“Research findings suggest that every marriage ought to be equipped with a built-in early warning system that lets you know when your marriage quality is in danger of deteriorating. I call this system the Marital Poop Detector because it’s really a way of saying something just doesn’t smell right!” - Dr. John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

I LOVE THIS! The Marital Poop Detector. BRILLIANT! And while we are on the topic of detecting poop, we might as well visit his idea of raising your standards. Expecting a great marriage is one way to set yourself up for… (not disappointment) … a more satisfying marriage! That’s right. We should have expectations, and we should share them with one another. We should want the most from our relationships, and in turn, we should have high standards for ourselves too. Marriage is a priceless investment. We should treat it as such. So, turn on your Poop Detectors, raise your expectations, and have a great marriage!

Works Cited

Gottman, John Mordechai, and Nan Silver. Theœ Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. London: Three Rivers Press, 1999. Web.

Edited by Jeannie Guthrie on Nov 14 at 4:27pm