The BIG BAD WOLF x3
We all know the story of the BIG BAD WOLF, and his
relentless efforts to destroy the lil’ piggy’s! His salacious appetite led him
on a journey from one pig’s home to the next, imploring, please, let me in! It truly did not matter to
the wolf just how strong the physical structure protecting the piggy was, he
just needed in, to eat them up! As I
think about this little fairytale from every childhood past, I am amazed at the
plethora of lessons available. I never gave much thought to the multiple moral
applications this story contained. But today, I find MANY! I want to share one
profound analogy that I have drawn, and relate it to how it applies to our
lives today.
First, I want to share some insights from an article I read
earlier today; Covenant Marriage by Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the Seventy.
You
can read the article here
In
this rather insightful message regarding marriage and the covenant path, Elder
Hafen says the following,
“Marriage is by
nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will. Jesus
taught about contractual attitudes when he described the “hireling,” who
performs his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in
return. When the hireling “seeth the wolf coming,” he “leaveth the sheep, and
fleeth … because he … careth not for the sheep.” By contrast, the Savior said,
“I am the good shepherd, … and I lay down my life for the sheep.” 2 Many people
today marry as hirelings. And when the wolf comes, they flee. This idea is
wrong. It curses the earth, turning parents’ hearts away from their children
and from each other”
“And when the wolf
comes, they flee.” I love this! Think about that for a minute. If Marriage
is the topic, and the scriptural analogy he shares is about the hired hand, who
should be protecting “sheep,” but is not truly invested in the sheep’s welfare.
His investment is $$$. So, when presented with a “wolf” he flees! What is the
wolf? It must be pretty bad, if the hired hand is not even willing to suffer it
out! AND, I might add, that would have to be one determined WOLF to drive away
a hired hand who will now, not be paid.
Elder Hafen lays out the WOLF/s for us in his article. He
says there are actually three wolves to be aware of.
“Every marriage is
tested repeatedly by three kinds of wolves.”
Wolf
Number 1 – "Natural Adversity"
Well, this is an easy one to predict.
We all know natural adversity lies just around EVERY CORNER! And, when we say
our I Do’s we all assume the same–we
can love through any trial. Yup, and
that we are also immune to all SERIOUSLY HARD trials. You know it is true! We
enter marriage with our blissfully pink glasses, where our unique love
outweighs everything. Your love is stronger than any trial, and deeper than any
love ever known to man! Trial-shmial! You got this. And then, BOOM! TRIAL!!! Now
imagine, your prince charming doesn’t know the difference between appropriate
sarcasm, and inappropriate sarcasm! Annoying right? And this–leads us into wolf
number three.
Wolf
Number 2 – “…the wolf of their own Imperfections”
He chews with his
mouth open. She snores when she sleeps. He spends too much money. She hides the
money she spends. His jokes aren’t funny anymore. Her nagging is wearing. He
spends more time away from home. She turns a cold shoulder. …you get the idea.
It is amazing just how quickly the once adorable wolf of imperfections can quickly lead to a gnarly, nasty, stinky,
intrusive and destructive deal-breaker!
Wolf
Number 3 – Excessive Individualism.
Hafen explains this so well:
“Surely marriage partners must respect one another’s
individual identity, and family members are neither slaves nor inanimate
objects” He continues by expressing a fear that is shared by many in
today’s society, “ …that the bonds of
kinship and marriage are not valuable ties that bind, but are, instead, sheer
bondage. Ours is the age of the waning of belonging. The adversary has long
cultivated this overemphasis on personal autonomy, and now he feverishly
exploits it. Our deepest God-given instinct is to run to the arms of those who
need us and sustain us. But he drives us away from each other today with wedges
of distrust and suspicion. He exaggerates the need for having space, getting
out, and being left alone. Some people believe him—and then they wonder why
they feel left alone.”
BOOM! No wonder divorce is on the rise.
With three big bad wolves attacking our sanctuary of
matrimony–on a daily basis!!! We cannot afford to turn away from the truths we
know. We need to be building the brick house of Christ, to
secure our marriages, our children, and our loved ones from the relentless
wolves.
I love the profound words of Elder Hafen, that fit the
description of so many marital relationships of today. It is certainly
prophetic on multiple levels. Elder Hafen spoke these words in 1996, when we
felt as though marriage was already under attack, but that the big bad wolf
would probably never attack our strong, well built, brick
homes. 23 years later, we all know that is not the case! We need the Savior in
our lives more now than ever.
And now, this is where my analogy comes in.
The wolf wanted
the piggy to eat… total annihilation of the life of a pig! How will he get to
him? He will attack the “home.” He knows if he tears down the structure of the
home, the pig will be available for easy consumption. Attack the home, eat the
pig! I believe this is the motto of the THREE BAD WOLVES, as outlined by Elder
Hafen. We need to know the wolf, fortify our homes, and recommit to being that spouse!
You know, the spouse that is not just for hire, but is actually in it for the
welfare of the individuals.
*might I add, in the fairytale, it is in the brick house
that the family is TOGETHER. YUP, TOGETHER and safe from the outside attacks
raging against them.
“May we restore the concept of marriage as a covenant,
even the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. 14 And when the wolf comes,
may we be as shepherds, not hirelings, willing to lay down our lives, a day at
a time, for the sheep of our covenant. Then, like Adam and Eve, we will have
joy”
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